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Living amends & making amends are two different processes To make a living amends requires living a completely new and sob Sober lifestyle, Making amends, Sober

Living Amends – Upon making living amends, we consider how we can display to others that there has been a spiritual and revolutionary change from the person we once were. When you make any amends, it is important to reflect on how you can apply the specific amends into making each one reflect within your living amends.

What do you say in an amends?

  • I'm sorry.
  • I feel bad about what I did.
  • I'm sorry I made myself sick.
  • I'm sorry for what I've put you through.
  • I know this has been hard on both of us.

(It’s okay — life changes course. I treasure your kindness and appreciate your support for as long as it lasted.) You can do so on this page. Keep up with what Living Amends is doing in the community. Willingness to hear about your loved ones’ fears, anger, triggers, and feelings, and to do this without becoming defensive. Change behavior and demonstrate that healing has started. We are seeking accountability for our own actions and holding ourselves to the standards of our own values and our 12 Step program. It’s important to have a plan in place before we reach out. We can’t know for certain how another person will respond—or even how the interaction might affect us emotionally.

Work on your relationships

We strengthen and reinforce what are living amendsy recovery whenever we do our part to repair relationships or reach out to others with support and understanding. As you work through the 12-Step Program, you’ll likely hear peers or sponsors refer to “living amends,” which is different than making direct or indirect amends. Instead, the term living amends means changing your behavior and the way that you live daily. Making any type of amends can be challenging, but in this article, we’ll focus on living amends and tips for how to make them. If you or a loved one is struggling to stay sober or needs help maintaining sobriety while working the 12 Steps, Eudaimonia Recovery Homes can help.

She is a qualified Reflexologist, Masseuse and Coach. She has created content for for many years and was Editor at She has lived with type 1 diabetes since she was 7 years old. Regular engagement in recovery activities (12-step meetings, step work, group or individual therapy, workshops, and fellowship with recovery peers).

Spirituality and Addiction

Practice accepting other’s responses to your efforts and remember that you have done all you can. Sometimes other people need more time to accept an apology. When appropriate, remind others that you are here if they change their mind or wish to talk. If you damaged someone’s property while under the influence of alcohol, meet with the person face-to-face and offer to repair the damage or reimburse them for repairs already completed. When choosing to make amends, exercise careful consideration of yourself and others to ensure you avoid causing further harm in your recovery efforts. Before you decide who to approach and how you intend to make amends, reflect on your efforts at recovery and the intent behind making amends.


Early in my recovery, I learned neither my son nor my husband was listening to anything I said. This year, I spent thousands of hours and thousands of dollars keeping The Marginalian going. For sixteen years, it has remained free and ad-free and alive thanks to patronage from readers. I have no staff, no interns, not even an assistant — a thoroughly one-woman labor of love that is also my life and my livelihood. If this labor has made your own life more livable in the past year , please consider aiding its sustenance with a one-time or loyal donation. Willingness to eliminate certain activities (at least until you’ve established solid sobriety) such as traveling for business, spending time with certain friends, unfettered use of the internet, etc. Willingness to engage in trust-building behaviors, such as keeping your loved ones informed about your whereabouts and activities, and consistently fulfilling your obligations and commitments.

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